The Best Leaders Normalize Emotion at Work

Despite decades of research proving their value at work, emotions remain one of the most undervalued—and misunderstood—resources available to leaders. Too many leaders still believe that emotions distract from execution, cloud judgment, or hinder good decision-making. Others believe that so-called “negative emotions” harm relationships, or that showing emotion makes you seem weak or unprofessional. While these myths and misconceptions may seem harmless, they undermine leadership effectiveness and team performance by encouraging the suppression of emotions, at a significant personal and organizational cost. Over time, ignoring and suppressing emotions can result in burnout, erode mental and physical health, dampen morale, hinder teamwork, and even impact financial results. In today’s team-based and emotionally charged workplace, understanding and managing emotions at work effectively is no longer optional. Emotions are central to every interaction—connecting us in our humanity, serving as powerful tools of persuasion and influence, and offering vital cues about our environment. Ignoring them squanders valuable opportunities and can often lead to real problems. And as AI takes over more analytical tasks once owned by leaders, emotional intelligence remains one of the few uniquely human skills—and a critical one for navigating today’s complex workplace. Yet, most leaders haven’t been trained to work with emotions, making emotional territory feel awkward, risky, or “off limits.” While programs to help leaders develop EQ abound, many leap too far ahead. They often focus on applied behaviors, teaching leaders how to demonstrate empathy or navigate conflict. However, true emotional intelligence isn’t about scripted actions. Rather, it’s built on recognizing, exploring, and strategically using emotional data. Here are four simple practices you can use immediately to enhance your emotional skills—and, in turn, your well-being and effectiveness. Notice Noticing emotions is the first step to accessing and leveraging the valuable data they hold. Start by tuning into subtle cues that are already there but frequently overlooked. Emotions often show up in our bodies, behaviors, and energy before we register them consciously. Tune into the physical sensations in your body as you move through your workday. For example, if you notice your jaw clenching, heart quickening, or tight shoulders, these can all be early signs of stress, anxiety, or anger. Also, pay attention to your behaviors: Are you talking more than usual or withdrawing? Diving into work or putting things off? Your responses can point to underlying emotions. Finally, track your energy. If you feel a sudden drop or unexpected surge, there’s likely an emotion just under the surface. Just as we have “tells” that we can learn to notice and read, other people are also constantly offering cues to their emotions. Facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, and behavior all transmit emotional data you can observe. Pay attention to body language—our bodies often broadcast what people aren’t saying aloud. Is your coworker leaning in or pulling away? Making eye contact or avoiding it? Watch for any inconsistencies. If a colleague says, “everything’s fine” with a flat tone or a forced smile, that mismatch between their words and expression is a sign they’re not “fine.” Emotions also show up in changes from someone’s baseline behavior. For example, if a normally engaged team member suddenly grows quiet, that’s worth noticing. These shifts don’t tell you exactly what they’re feeling, but they signal it’s time to get curious. Name Emotional concepts aren’t innate—they’re learned through socialization, education, and culture. Strengthening your ability to identify and articulate complex feelings starts with expanding the number of emotion words you know. A richer emotional vocabulary allows you to describe how you feel more precisely, which increases self-awareness and helps you respond more effectively. Labeling your feelings more specifically can also help you reduce distress and reactivity, improve decision-making, manage stressful interactions more effectively, and enhance your ability to both read and express emotions. To build your vocabulary, don’t settle for vague labels like “mad, sad, or glad.” Instead, seek more specific words to describe your feelings. For example, if you’re upset, try to pinpoint it: Are you frustrated, resentful, or provoked? If you feel good, ask yourself: Is it joy, relief, confidence, or some other feeling altogether? This extra precision builds emotional clarity. Emotion wheels, lists, and mood tracking apps are widely available and can be helpful tools for expanding your range. In conversation, go deeper than surface level. Instead of stopping at the usual “How are you?” “Fine,” ask questions that invite the person to offer more nuance. For example, you might say, “What kind of fine are we talking about? Is that fine as in ‘steady and good’ or fine as in ‘holding it together?’” These small nudges for specificity invite deeper connection and useful insight into others. Need Many of us grew up hearing messages like “Big girls don’t cry,” “Man up,” or “Don’t be so sensitive.” Over time, we learned to treat certain emotions as weaknesses and push them aside. But emotions aren’t good or bad. Rather, they are data that offer us valuable insights, giving us clues about our needs, values, boundaries, and the people around us. Research shows that seeing emotions as helpful makes us more likely to attend to them, boosting our well-being and ability to manage them in ourselves and others. Noticing and validating someone else’s emotions builds psychological safety, strengthens trust, and supports better problem-solving. Logic helps us think, but emotion drives connection, motivation, and action. To reveal the wealth of information that your emotions offer, do the following. After you notice and name your feelings, reflect and ask yourself: What message is that emotion trying to send me? What does it reveal about what matters to me, my needs, or my values? Extend that same curiosity towards others’ experiences and emotions. If someone on your team seems a little withdrawn or “off,” resist the urge to ignore it or make assumptions. Instead, ask a gentle, open-ended question like: “I’ve noticed you haven’t been participating as much in team meetings lately. How have you been feeling about things?” This simple inquiry signals care and can surface insights that might otherwise stay buried. Emotions are messengers. When you inquire into them, you can uncover new insights that improve both your results and your relationships. Normalize Leaders who normalize emotional expression—both the positive and the difficult—help build teams that are more creative, effective at solving problems, and resilient. When you model emotional honesty in a grounded and intentional way, it signals safety and builds trust. This does not mean baring your soul. In fact, oversharing can undermine your credibility and destabilize your team. The goal is to show a little humanity and demonstrate that having a full range of emotions is normal and allowed. There are small ways to do this. During crunch times, you might say: “I know things are hectic. I’m feeling stressed too—but we’ll get through it together.” Acknowledging a shared “negative feeling” can help create calm and show your team you’re in it with them. During one-on-ones or team meetings, ask questions that prompt people to reflect on their state of mind, like: “What’s one thing you’re feeling good about, and one thing that’s weighing on you?” You might also share a past challenge you’ve faced in your life or career to show you’ve been through hard things, too. When people feel safe naming what’s real, it benefits their health, team performance, and the culture you’re trying to build. The best leaders don’t hide their emotions or overlook others’. They notice, name, get curious, and normalize them. The more you value and explore emotions, the healthier, more resilient, and effective you will become. And as AI takes on more technical tasks, your ability to navigate the emotional will set you apart. Emotions aren’t a weakness; they’re your most powerful leadership advantage.

The Best Leaders Normalize Emotion at Work

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